Author Archives: Reilly Stephens

Down On My Knees, I’m Beggin’ Ya Please.

Last November, then Vice President Elect Mike Pence took his family to a production of the Broadway musical Hamilton. The Broadway audience being what it is, his entrance was met with a spattering of boos. The Broadway cast being what it is, they took the opportunity to make a special entreaty to the victorious candidate […]

Fine, Build the Wall, If…

Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced Tuesday that the administration will end the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals initiative begun by its predecessor. DACA provided otherwise law-abiding illegal aliens brought here by their parents some relief from the fear of deportation, along with work permits and sundry other benefits. Much of the controversy so far focused […]

The First Amendment: A Right Against Bared Arms

The past weekend’s white nationalist rally in Charlottesville meant déjà vu all over again regarding the status of “hate speech” under the First Amendment. As a positivist matter this debate is a nonsense: uncountable cases made it quite clear over the past hundred years that bigots are entitled to speak their mind. “Hate speech” is […]

This Laughter Kills Fascists

Another weekend, another spectacle. This time it took the form of a “#UniteTheRight” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, where the self-appointed saviors of Western Civilization gathered to congratulate themselves on their self-proclaimed cultural superiority. On Friday evening, a subset of these gathered to lead a torch-lit march through the campus of the University of Virginia, for […]

Joe Arpaio, Thug Life

“Know, then, that now, precisely now, these people are more certain than ever before that they are completely free, and at the same time they themselves have brought us their freedom and obediently laid it at our feet…they have finally overcome freedom, and have done so in order to make people happy.” – The Brothers […]

Of Sandwiches and Civil Rights

Some weeks ago, CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski raised eyebrows when he publicly announced that he had identified the creator of the video tweeted by the President, in which the President wrestles and emerges victorious over an opponent with the CNN logo for a head. CNN knew his identity, the network claimed, but was, in their mercy, […]

House Member Chaffetz Wants You To Buy Him A House

Retiring Congressman Jason Chaffetz announced, on his way out the door, that he believes Congress should provide themselves a $2,500 housing allowance, in order to better cope with the obnoxious cost of DC accommodations. Since congressmen maintain a residence in the District in addition to their household commitments back home, the logic goes, the excessive […]

Crying Havoc

Continuing the long tradition of hackneyed attempts to “make Shakespeare relevant,” Shakespeare in the Park this summer chose to stage its production of Julius Caesar with an eye towards current events. The conqueror of Gaul was therefore rendered with ginger hair and a red tie worn long enough to conceal ones manhood. Considering the probable […]

The Way of the Gun

“The mountains are high, and the Emperor is far away.” In the opening paragraphs of To Kill A Mockingbird, Scout ponders the meaning of her brother’s broken arm. “It began with Andrew Jackson,” she decides: “if General Jackson hadn’t run the Creeks up the creek, Simon Finch would never have paddled up the Alabama,” and […]

The Ratings Are Through the Roof!

Marco Polo describes a bridge, stone by stone. “But which is the stone that supports the bridge?” Kublai Khan asks. “The bridge is not supported by one stone or another,” Marco answers, “but by the line of the arch that they form.” Kublai Khan remains silent, reflecting. Then he adds: “Why do you speak to […]