Least Dangerous Blog

Taxation Tuesday: Happy Thanksgiving

Like the rest of you, I’m phoning it in this week, so instead of a full blog post, here are some truly appalling tax jokes:

Where did the homeless accountant go? To a tax shelter!

Why don’t sharks attack tax inspectors? Professional courtesy.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.

Why was the accountant better than Sherlock Holmes? Because he made more deductions.

“As a citizen, you have an obligation to pay taxes, and I hope you’ll pay them with a smile.” “That’s a relief, I thought you’d want cash!”

Where there’s a will, there’s an inheritance tax.

Of life’s two certainties, taxes is the only one that will give you an extension.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf.

Whoever said the truth never hurts never had to fill out a Form 1040.

Who wants a tax cocktail? Two drinks and you withhold nothing.

A tax-dodger is a man who does not love his country less, but loves his money more.

What’s a tax preparer’s favorite whiskey? MACRS mark.

I’d tell you a tax joke but I doubt you’d depreciate it.

What do cannibal tax lawyers do at the end of the year? Toast their clients.

I owe the U.S. government so much money it doesn’t know whether to put me in jail or recognize me as a foreign power.

Have a happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Don’t fight your family and don’t try to deduct your home office.